I had my 1st baby in 2015 and afterwards I thought I had had the best experience. I went unmedicated, had a vaginal birth, and I thought it was amazing.
That was fine, I guess. To live in la-la land for a bit. I was still new to all things birth and the truth is I just didn’t know what I didn’t know.
Over time though, red flags have emerged shattering the facade of a great birth experience. My waters broke spontaneously at 38+5 so there was never any talk of induction or methods of speeding things along.
I really side stepped that landmine. My labor happened during the night, possibly on a slow night because I remember my midwife coming to check on me quite a bit.
I was pretty much left alone during the process. Never felt any pressure to do anything. So what were the red flags you ask?
All that started when I told her I felt pushy. I went from being upright on my knees to being guided to sit back, legs up.
If this situation happened to me today I wouldn’t have moved. I’d have stayed exactly the way I was. This would have allowed gravity to continue to work in my favor. Plus it was a position I felt comfortable in.
The next red flag was being told when to push and coached through it. When I told her I felt like pushing it wasn’t a strong urge. In fact, I had been feeling that way for about an hour before I even mentioned it to her. My body was definitely progressing. I ended up tearing because I was pushing when I really wasn’t ready even though I was at a 10.
Today I would have allowed the surges to intensify and have my body push when it was ready.
Another red flag, backpacking on the last one, was being told I was at 10cm.
Today I wouldn’t have any cervical checks. If she hadn’t known I was at a 10 maybe, just maybe, what followed wouldn’t have happened. I remember holding my son for several minutes in the tub before getting out. My placenta hadn’t come out yet but I don’t recall there being excessive bleeding.
I was laid on a hospital bed and my son given to the nurse while the midwife went in after it. This is the biggest red flag. She was following a hospital protocol and I wasn’t given enough time or alternate suggestions of getting it out.
Her trying to manually pull it out was far worse than giving birth. I was in so much pain but she just kept insisting she had to get it out and if I didn’t cooperate I’d be heading to the OR.
She’d try for a bit before it was too much and I needed a break. This went on and on until she got it. I don’t know what drugs they gave me but I was a little loopy after that and I missed a huge part of just being with my new baby.
Alternate ending: giving the placenta more time to come on it’s own. Sometimes 10 minutes isn’t long enough. I wish I would have known to advocate for myself but I didn’t. How could I have done that without knowing anything about the process of giving birth?
The next red flag was when we wanted to decline the eye ointment and they told us they were going to have to notify child services. I caved and let them administer it because I was terrified of my son being taken away from me.
If I were in that situation currently I would have already discussed this with them in preperation for declining it. I wouldn’t be so intimidated and I’d protect my son.
If you plan on giving birth in a hospital you need to learn from my mistakes and go in prepared.
That’s why I’m so passionate about offering the Unmedicated Academy, an in depth online birth education curriculum, to momsz. It’s over 30 hours of content and you get me to be with you along the way.
You need this!
I want you to look back on your birth with so much joy and happiness and not see a bunch of red flags.
Let’s get you ready! We start in June for Aug/Sept due dates.
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